Imagining Heaven

I saw heaven opened, and behold, a white horse,
 and He who sat on it is called Faithful and True. Revelation 19:11

I’ve been imagining what heaven is like for Dave. It’s helped me to focus on that instead of the circumstances how Dave died.

Dave had been living with a ticking time bomb. Our primary told us the good thing about the location of the tumor was that the end would be quick. Dave wouldn’t know what was happening, but I would. I asked the hospice nurse what to expect. She said most likely one day Dave wouldn’t wake up from his sleep.

That is how I envisioned it happening. Instead, I was gone, setting up for the Olde Fashioned Christmas art sale. He died alone. Thankfully, in God’s providence our friend, Mark, had come to visit Dave that night and he was the one who found him. I don’t think I would have ever recovered if I had come home and found Dave on the floor, not knowing how long he had been lying there.

I was spared of that, but the fact that I was at my art sale instead of with Dave ruined me. The last thing I wanted to do after Dave died was to paint. I forced myself to do a little painting with my former students on Watercolor Wednesdays, but I wouldn’t pick up a brush at home.

It’s been almost five months now, but there have been only three days where I haven’t cried at some point. I know I’m getting better though because I finally did a painting in my art room at home. It’s a painting that has been in my head for a long time. Its title is Faithful and True.

Last week I took off my wedding ring and put it away. I replaced it with one that Mom had made for me. She used the diamonds from her wedding ring to design rings for each of her daughters and granddaughters. The ring is special. I have worn it every day on my right hand since she gave it to me. It seemed fitting to wear it on my left now.

I had a dream about Dave. He was in heaven, welcoming me and giving me a big hug. He was handsome, restored to the health he had when he was a teenager before the tumor changed his life, before I knew him. He was happy. All has been made right for Dave, and he is in the presence of the one called Faithful and True. I long for the day I will be there too.